f.b. sta.tus

J. is in Las Ve.gas for business. I signed into fac.ebook today to see his status as follows:


J: If actually being a father is half as exciting as thinking about being a father I'll be in good shape.


Can I fall any more in love with him?

level 2 US

So before the big reveal, I should answer a question.
BWUB asked what I and J. thought about the baby's gender before the US....I have to admit, for me, I think my hopes and my feelings were so intermeshed, that I did not know what I "felt" and what I hoped for. I truly prayed for a healthy baby, but what parents don't? SO to be honest, my thoughts (hopes?) leaned boy, because of my less than perfect relationship with my mother. J. on the other hand from the very beginning has been clear that his greatest wish was for a girl.

The poll of course came out boy....

SO we showed up bright and early for my US. I use the restroom before going back to the US room. The tech comes in, she has a thick accent from Eastern Europe. She asks if I need to use the restroom. I say no, I just went. She says you should go, I think maybe she is not understnading so I repeat I just went....she asks, when? ....seriously? I get it, but I j.u.s.t. w.e.n.t. I give J. a look and he is looking at me like oh great....what a way to start. Any way, we settle in, and she surprises us both by being talkative and showing us everything. I am going with it was just a miscommunication and perhaps she has had many women lay down only to have to get up in the middle of the scan....

Bebe is laying head down along my right side. No surprise as my belly bulges out on the right side almost all the time. Bebe likes that side. The tech says bebe is in a good position to start with the heart so she does. She takes many many photos. She gets all 4 chambers, the aorta, ventricles, valves, the heart looks good. The tech is pretty good about talking about what she is looking at and for. Bebe's heart rate is 143. She asks if we want to know the sex, we say yes. She says ok, when she gets to that point she will try.

She then looks at the stomach, kidneys, brain....she measures the arms, legs, head circumference. In between each measurement she looks to see the legs, and bebe is legs together. the whole time....the whole time. The tech gets all the measurements and says everything looks really good. She says she still can't get a good look but she thinks she knows but can't be sure as the angle is not ideal.

She leaves to get the doctor. J and I sit in the room waiting for about 15 minutes. J. says I think everything looks perfect. I said thank you Dr. J. LOL. We chat about the stubborn baby with legs closed. I ask, did you see the nose? He says why did you think it would be big? I said no I just know that is one of the things they look for. Otherwise, the tech left the measurement screen up and we can see that all measurements feel within range. from 18w5d to 19w1d. This makes us feel good and we just wait.

The doctor arrives and says he will do some more measurements as he likes to see things for himself. Fine by us. He also quickly says everything looks great from the tech's measurements. He reviews the results from the integrated blood screen and notes that our risk of downs is 1/4300 which is a lower risk than a 20 year old. The first thing he does is look at the brain and then the face where he measures the nose (LOL, guess I read it right) and things still look great. He checks out the heart, kidneys, remeasures the legs and arms (his measurements are slightly larger than hers) and says things look really good. He talks about other testing and we say based on the NT, integrated screen and the level 2, we are satisfied and don't need further testing like amnio. He then goes to look at the one last question......

and he finds....

legs, wide open....

we are having...

a beautiful...

little...

girl!!

J is beside himself with joy, his grin makes me smile just thinking about it. He gets his little girl. We have not discussed names much, we have lots of time. J. teasingly said that we should name her princess LOL.

Tomorrow is the big US!

Can't wait :)

our trip

Well, everyone is home safe and sound. I will share photos from our trip and probably a story or two about bebe's first trip out of the US. For now, here are the first two gifts that J. and I bought for bebe.

I could not resist the onesie, since bebe is half-ir.ish.

The little sheep is made from wool from Ire.land.

Hello from the emer.ald isle

Sorry that I have been MIA! I have been on vaca and thought that there
would be wifi.....but alas, no.

I will be back online shortly and can't wait to catch up you up on
everything (and me on all my blogs)

Suffice to say bebe and I love ire.land. And you'll be hearing from me
soon!

Sent from my iPhone

Amazing

I have mentioned that I thought I was feeling our little bebe especially when I sit at the table and drink cold water but I was not comfortable saying that I was sure....

Well last night, we went to my favorite fast restaurant Chipotle (mmmmmmmm!) and I had my usual burrito bowl, chicken, guacamole, chips....and a coke to drink since I had not had any caffeine or soda all day, I thought I would have a treat.

When we returned home, we got in bed to watch Stepbrothers (pretty sophomoric, but amusing) and I was sitting up and had my hand on my belly; you can definitely see my uterus when I am laying down and I can tell which side the baby is laying on :) Then I was positive that I was feeling bebe. I did not have gas LOL, and I felt definite movement, at least one full kick....so I took J's hand and said, I want to see if you can feel this. I put my hand on top of his on my belly, and within a minute, a definite kick, he just looked at me....he was so amazed, as was I because I could feel it at the same time. wow....I did not expect to get lucky enough to feel anything this early let alone J....but we did :)

This morning I asked J can you believe it? he smiled and said it was amazing.

Appointment

I had my OB appointment today and boy was it boring. I am very thankful that everything has been so very uneventful, and thankful that there is not much to discuss at the appointment, but I admit I was hoping to see bebe today. Alas, the OB just used the doppler for about 30 seconds, said the baby sounds great and that was it. No heart rate info, nada. Really, not complaining, so glad that she found the HB so easy and that everything is normal.

Results from my bloodwork and 24 hour urine were normal, so for fun, she decided I should do the glucose test early....just in case, since I am older. Of course, if I pass I still get to do it again between 24-28 weeks....so weeee!

I also went to have blood drawn for the integrated screen that goes with the earlier NT scan. I have read that different places do it differently, some take the first blood work into account with the NT scan, some wait. My high risk office, does the NT scan and then does the integrated screen which takes the results from the first bloodwork, then takes the results from the second bloodwork (which is the quad screen) and compiles the measurement, and both blood results and does some magical analysis and then give us our risk. I should hear something within 7-10 days. I am trying so far successfully not to worry as I have heard so many people with false positives. My level 2 US is about a week after I get the results, so not long to wait to compare if they have any concerns.

**Don't forget to vote on my poll if you haven't already :)

a poke and a poll

Just a quick note-

Today I went to the clinic and got the flu shot.....happily the NP gave me the thimerasol free version without me having to ask for it :)


I posted a poll on the right for our big US in 20 days.....I am curious, what do YOU think I am having?

no really?

I have hinted that my mom and I are not close. Detailing that story would be quite an endeavor but the short version of her story is she married young, had me before she was 20 (not trying) divorced before I was 1, married and divorced, 4 more times and 3 more times respectively.....if you are able to keep up, she is currently married. She has always been quite dependent on others, I felt like I was often the adult, she the child.

When I turned 30, she actually told me she wanted to be a grandmother because all of her friends were grandmothers....I was not married and not at a point where I was willing to be a single mother so she could be a grandmother....and I told her this, nicely though. While she makes me crazy and I wish things were different, she is my mother.

So when I told her that I am pregnant, she was over the moon, she had given up on me because of our conversation when I turned 30....I am surprised that she listened :) Here is her latest request.....that I schedule a c-section so SHE can be here. I was so angry, she is always able to make things about her. I asked her if she was seriously asking me to schedule a surgery that would put me at more risk unnecessarily and potentially the baby because she wanted me to?....she said well....I just said forget about it, it is not happening and moved on.

I realize part of her request is that she wants to be part of it.....but the fact that she doesn't think about what might be best for me or my baby makes me crazy. Isn't that what mothers are supposed to do, want what is best for their child? She and I are fine, but she never ceases to amaze me.

16 weeks

16 week belly pic and survey.
I figured it was about time to post a pic, and you can decide for yourself about my belly. While I do realize that little bump never used to be there....I don't think I would ever ask someone my size if she were preggo :)


How Far Along? 16 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? 2 pounds

Maternity Clothes: Not really, though I have bought some tshirts as I love that they are longer (regular tshirts are too short for my torso on a normal day)

Sleep: Not too bad, depends on how J. is sleeping. He is the one who typically wakes me up, not the little one.

Best Moment of the Week: Hearing little ones heartbeat and increased movement through the doppler.

Movement: Probably not, but every few days I feel something that makes me think....maybe?

Food Craving: Nothing specific but I do eat a lot of Chipotle....and protein is the only thing that keeps me full.

Food aversions: Nothing specific, but some things taste too sweet, like my favorite Honey Nut cheerios, so now I mix them with regular cheerios.

Morning sickness: Never felt any, thank goodness!

Gender: No idea, fingers crossed that we will find out in about 3 weeks.

Labor Signs: No!

Belly Button: In, my bb is really an innie....wondering what that means for the future.

What I miss: Eating soft cheeses at restaurants. Since I don't know if they are pasteurized for sure. But at home it is fair game, I have found both feta and goat cheese pasteurized :)

What I'm looking forward to: Next OB appointment on 9/11.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't sweat the small stuff, if you are doing your best, that is good enough.

Milestones: 16 weeks and feeling great :)

Days slipping by

Yesterday while watching the news they said that mj was being buried 70 days after his death, really? 70 days since then? That was my very first thought. I can't believe that 70 days have gone by. My reasons have nothing to do with mj, but instead, thinking about the fact that I was pregnant when that happened, and a miracle is continuing as I am still pregnant. 111 days today....seems like a lucky number.

I wonder if the questions that pregnant women hear are harder or not for those who have losses and IF? I ask because many questions from acquaintances have been quite intrusive (in my opinion). A SIL (not close at all) asked me if this pregnancy was planned....what?? is that ANY of your business? and if not, what are you going to do with that info? she also went on to ask after I said YES (don't ask why i answered...i guess i just wanted to affirm that indeed this child is wanted*) she asked if we had been trying and how long. Seriously? now I have to prove that the baby was planned?
*edit* a few sweet commenters were wondering if perhaps she is going through IF herself....no, she has 21, 19 and 14 year old children, and she is more than happy to tell everyone that she is glad to have the two out of the house...and that that time is almost behind her. I do,like my bloggy friends, try and be on the lookout for others in the IF battle, but in this case, I should have given you all the info upfront :) sorry for the omission! Her questions are not her way of asking for help :)

Another thing that bothered me was when I was trying to decide what jacket to take on an upcoming trip, I said well I don't think I will be too big to fit this jacket, and my MIL said "you have no idea what you are in for, you are going to be a lot bigger than that". What? i immediately said, if I am too big for the jacket for this trip, I have a big problem, I know when I am 9 months pregnant I won't fit it but for the trip I will. Seriously, what makes people act and say things like I am clueless.....I have no doubt that I will be big, I am happy about that, but currently at 16 weeks, if you did not know that I am pregnant, and I wear normal clothes, I am smaller than every one in the family....don't get me wrong, I want to look pregnant, and I am wearing the tighter pregnancy tops in the hopes of looking pregnant....but seriously. I know I could have it much much worse. But I don't like when people act like I am clueless. I know we have made a life altering step in our life.....and I can't wait :)



*note* I know many (probably most) unplanned babies are wanted....I was unplanned, but I wanted her to know that yes, this is what we were praying for.

blog award!

I received the one lovely blog award for Dawn at Gods Plan Not Mine
She is currently in the TWW (after clomid) but has been cleared for an IUI for next cycle if needed. Head over and wish her luck!

The rules are to post a link to the person giving the award and then to name a few of your favorite recent finds in the blogworld. Well, I have tried to curtail adding any new ones as I have so many current favorites and couldn't live without them.....all of the blogs that I follower, read and comment on are so lovely and daily provoke me to think and laugh and love.....thanks to all of you!!