So I am going to attempt to write this down, not sure where to start so I will start and see where this goes,
Thursday the 11th started out as a normal day. It was day 2 of the snowstorm, but the snow ended early in the day. Jack's company decided to call another snow day because everyone was still trying to dig out from the huge amounts of snow that fell through the night.
We had lunch around 1:00 (soup and some cheese and crackers). And then we decided to go for a short walk up to the boardwalk (2 blocks) to see the snow on the ocean. Jack was all ready and i was starting to get around.
All day, I had felt Willow like normal, until lunch and then I hadn't but my stomach had gotten really hard, like it did during contractions but it kind of stayed that way....it had felt similar to that before, but it was weird.
I put on my boots to go outside, and started to feel really bad. It is hard to explain, but I just felt wrong, sick. I told Jack that I had to go to the bathroom because I just wasn't feeling good. I went in and sat down on the toilet. I started getting really really hot and started to sweat and feel faint. You know, when you want to lay down on the cool bathroom floor? I started thinking that, but didn't. Instead, the toilet is next to a wall on one side so I leaned my head against it. The next thing I knew I woke up. I had passed out and while passed out, vomited all over myself. It was in my nose and mouth. At the exact same time I felt a gush of liquid and looked into the toilet to see bright red blood. not bloody show, not amniotic fluid, bright red gushing blood. Not tons but enough to freak me out.
At this point, I am starting to get a little scared, not crazy scared but none of these signs are typical labor signs and I hadn't been having the contractions or other signs.
I go out and tell Jack that I think we really need to go to the hospital. He looks surprised as a few minutes before I was willing to go for a walk. I tell him what happened and he is a little freaked. I also decide to call my doctor to tell her and make sure we are doing the right thing. I get the nurse and I tell her everything. She is going to tell me to go to the office but the doctor who has been listening tells her to have me go to the hospital.
She also asks if I am alone, and I said no my husband is here and will drive me.
We leave at 2:55pm and should get to the hospital at 3:12pm (according to the GPS). On the drive I feel really terrible but just assume that labor has started and we have some weirdness going on. Jack asks if it is ok to drive the speed limit, and I say yes, we will be there before 3:15 we should be fine. He drops me off and I tell him I am going to go up, that I can't wait for him. I go in and get my pass and go up to Labor and Delivery. I get up there about 3:25pm.
Once in Labor and Delivery I am assigned to nurse, Kelly. It is really quiet there. She takes me into the intake area and asks me tons of questions. She keeps asking if I can feel the baby. I tell her honestly my stomach is so tight I can't feel anything. I tell her it was around 1pm when I last felt her. Because she keeps asking me the same question, particularly that one, I am starting to freak out. She wants me to put on a gown and give a urine sample. I try, but the cup is filled with blood. She asks about my BP and I tell her I checked at noon and it was 120/64.
Then back to the bed and they put the monitors for contractions and heart rate. I am anxious of course. She is having trouble and the first heart rate she finds is 95....I am saying no that can't be the baby that she is always between 129 and 160. After what feels like forever she finds her heart rate and it is in the 130s and 140s, immediately I feel better since we are at the hospital and I know bebe girl is alive. The contraction monitor is off the charts. I am having constant contractions. Literally one starts at the end of the previous one.
The doctor on the floor comes to check my cervix as the nurse tried and can't reach it. The doctor says I am dilated 1-2cm. She brings in an ultrasound machine to look at bebe girl.
All this time I am freaked but under control. I just keep thinking if anything is wrong they can get to her quickly so everything will be ok. With the US she is trying to see if there is any fluid around the baby and there is but it is on the low side. She also keeps asking if I can feel the baby.
Then all of a sudden all these nurses show up. They all have a job, asking questions, filling out forms, putting in an IV, etc etc. There are now about 9 nurses in my intake room.
My Doctor arrives, and honestly I don't know exactly when but I will guess around 4:00pm. She asks me all the same questions. She then says that I need to have a C-section immediately. She explains that the baby was doing ok, but that she was struggling and that there is no time to wait while my cervix dilates. While with the speed and strength of the contractions mean that it would probably go fast, if I was at a 7 or 8, they would consider, but it is not in my future.
I agree with her recommendations as all I want is for Willow to be here and be safe. Jack is given scrubs and he changes into them. I know he is freaking out so I try and stay calm. This is the only time I allow myself to start to cry and I say "I can't believe this is happening, I never expected this" then I pull it together for Jack.
I have already been prepped for surgery at this point so I am put in a wheelchair to go to the operating room. As we go by the nurses area they all wish us luck. Jack is sent to the recovery room to store our stuff and to wait for me to get the epidural.
I arrive in the operating room and they get started. They are really moving. The anesthesiologist starts to work on me. I am struggling as I am still having constant contractions. I can barely sit there, let alone lean forward! But eventually, with a lot of pain they get it. Then things start really moving fast. The catheter goes in and the screen goes up so I can not see. Jack is still not there and I am starting to think he is not going to be there in time.
Finally Jack arrives. Thy tell him to sit and not to stand up. Then the real fun begins. I don't feel the cutting just hear them talking about what they are doing and seeing. They are talking about blood and lots of clots. I finally figure out they are talking about in the uterus.
This whole time I am turned looking towards Jack. The real fun starts and they start pulling things out. They are jerking my body so hard that I am being lifted off the table. Jack's eyes are huge as he watches me jerked and pulled and being moved all over. It hurts. Then all of a sudden I say that I am going to be sick. You see, I wasn't supposed to be there, so I had lunch. The anesthesiologist give me a little pan at my left shoulder to throw up in,and he gives me an injection of zofran. It is too late though and I start violently throwing up. (later Jack tells me I threw up on the guy)
They take the baby at 5:00pm....approximately 1 and half hours from when we arrived not knowing what to expect.
Immediately she is taken away. They do say she is a girl, but that is it. I turn to Jack (finally done vomiting) and ask if he saw her, he says just as they passed her through. They did not stop to show him. Now they are seriously working on me, I have no idea what they are doing but talk is about blood and such, with directions like put your finger right there on that vein, etc. They are looking at my other organs looking for any signs of other problems. Finally Jack tells me he can hear Willow crying in the next room, thank god. I am finally closed with staples and taken to recovery where Jack is waiting.
I ask if he has seen the baby and he hasn't. The nurse tells us she is fine just under observation. Jack is allowed to go and see her in the nursery for her weighing and other firsts....he has to leave me, but I tell him to go. The nurse says I will be ok, just go.
We end up waiting in recovery for a while, as it is shift change and we need to change floors. Jack returns with the camera and shows me my first pictures of Willow. She is beautiful :)
Finally at 7:30pm we are taken up to the mother/baby floor. I immediately ask to see Willow but they say she is being watched due to her breathing. She was given an apgar of 7 at 1 minute and 9 at 5 minutes, but she is mucusy and is having a tiny bit of trouble breathing.
It is during this lull that I learn how truly scary it all was. We learn we had a placental abruption. We learn that if we would have been 30 minutes slower, the outcome for both Willow and for me would have been different. Some how, we made it. Several things stood out. Jack was home from work and thus I did not have to 1. drive myself (which i would not have been able to) or 2. wait for a taxi or 3. wait for an ambulance. Also, I just just knew something was terribly wrong. I did not know what, but I knew that we had to go.
Finally at 9:30pm I was allowed to see and hold Willow.....all was right with the world.
Additionally, I lost over 1400cc of blood (normal adults have 4000-5000 cc) and ended up needing two separate blood transfusions to get my levels to an acceptable point.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that something like this would happen. I can't help but think, in regards to all of us who worry, we will never worry about the thing that actually happens. For me all the preterm contractions, and potential blood pressure issues, and those were fine. But we never would think to worry about placental abruption, though I had heard of it. I never imagined my life would be in jeopardy too (though theoretically I knew it could be)
Jack and I have had some quiet moments to talk about all of this since we were in the hospital 5 days. We cannot get through the conversation without both of us ending up in tears, both of our emotions so raw from fear. Jack is definite that we will not be having any other children, and he is currently fearful of having an oops baby. (one of the few things that besides W. that makes me smile is the thought that we could have an oops baby). I understand his feelings; I can still see the reflection of fear in his eyes when he imagined the thought of losing both Willow and I on the same day.
30 minutes can change your life, it has ours.
